The Rules of Frustration

Frustration

I know the rules for living in Thailand. No matter how bad someone is acting, in person, or on the other end of the phone, NEVER look, or in this case, sound frustrated. No matter how jet-lagged, tired, or ill you are from that lovely stomach bug you took on vacation.

The one that followed you back home.

Them: (automatic voice machine) press 9 for English.

I press 9 and wait, listening to music.

Them: Could you tell us your member number please, then explain the problem?

Me: My member number is xxx. When I got in from offstation, my Internet wouldn’t connect.

Them: There is nothing wrong with your account so we’ll pass you to technical.

So I listen to music until … silence … “Hello? Hello? HELLO?”

I hang up and call back.

Them: (automatic voice machine) press 9 for English.

I press 9 and wait, listening to music again.

Them: Can we help you?

I ask for technical.

Them: Could you explain your problem?

I explain what’s going on.

Them: Could you tell us the xxx settings on your modem?

I rush to the phoneless office from the living room to look at the modem, then rush back to the living room.

Me: I don’t have xxx settings.

Them: Could you tell us your xxx settings?

In case I might have missed it, I again rush to the office from the living room to look at the modem, then rush back to the living room.

Me: My modem doesn’t have those settings. As I mentioned before (and I’m sure it’s in my file), I have a router with airport for the Mac. It has xxx and xxx and xxx.

Them: Could you tell us your modem then?

Me: (tensing up) I have a router with airport for the Mac. It has xxx and xxx and xxx.

Them: Could you tell us your xxx settings?

I rush to the office from the living room to take a digital of the blinking mess under my desk, swing by the kitchen for a cold beer, carrying the camera back with me to the living room.

Me: (getting a little more tense) I don’t have those settings, I have xxx and xxx and xxx settings. I have a router with airport for the Mac. It has xxx and xxx and xxx.

(A worrying silence)

(More silence)

Them: We’ll call you back, ok?

Me: Ok.

(now thinking it’ll be a cold day in hades before I get a return call)

I wait until 4 and call again.

Them: (automatic voice machine) press 9 for English.

So I press 9 and listen to the music.

Then … nothing. I was found guilty of the second worse sin (the first is, of course, showing impatience). By not being served before the music ran down, I had earned myself another wait in the queue.

Update: This morning technical called the house phone (I was using the outside line for dial up. Dial up is painful). They didn’t understand my Thai and I didn’t understand theirs. It’s a phone thing. It’s also a ‘my Thai is pathetic thing’.

Fast forward … technical physically came over and added another modem to my long string of things I now need to connect to the Internet. It’s joined the box under the desk I don’t use. A box already full of wires and small plastic boxes and extensions and cables and power cords. Some blinking. Some not.

On the technical’s way out I received a lecture about connecting the Internet on my PC before trying to access the Internet on my Macs. Huh? No matter. Not returning his obvious look of superiority or showing frustration or disbelief, I grinned and kop khun khaaed him out the door.

So now we are all happy. They are happy because the added modem has their extra settings. I’m happy because I’m online, tap tap tapping away on a proper connection.

Yet another lesson of mai bin rai.